“Anyway, uh — I was in my dressing room tonight before the show, Fabrezing my beard. And I, uh — I also was, uh, you know — [ he mimes smoking a joint ] Putting on chap stick daintily. And the stylist here at “Saturday Night Live”, she said, “Zach, what kind of look are you going for for your monologue?” And I said, “Well, just give me the Lighthouse Attendant. Oh, you’re out of that one? Just give me the Homeless Professor. Oh, you’re out of that one? Just give me Marijuana santa Claus. Oh, you’re out of that one? Just give me Vice President of Ultimate Frisbee. Oh, you’re out of that one? Just give me someone who looks like they write on Alpaca message boards. Oh, you’re out of that one? Just give me Wolf Blitzer at Burning Man”.” - Zach Galifianakis’ monologue from SNL
Best meal I have made myself in a while. #ilovebroccoli
